


To Never Forgive

by Deepspacesexual



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, One Shot, Space Husbands, Star Trek: AOS, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deepspacesexual/pseuds/Deepspacesexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm sorry, Spock. I'm so sorry."</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Never Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://pacoquinhaw.tumblr.com/post/57046229209/spirk-time) piece of simple yet perfect artwork :)

Spock took great care in wiping the dirt off his face; careful to get every single particle of his home planet down the drain, and careful not to look at the bedroom beyond the sink. 

It was in that room that Jim stood - silently, for the most part, if one forgives the small sobs that escaped the captain's mouth every few seconds. Spock did. At the same time, the Vulcan had asked for space and left Jim to wait; Jim respected Spock enough to not ask questions nor persist on the matter, thus establishing himself against the door. Spock wanted to do anything but walk away, but he could not breathe; his mind could not process the ground where he stood nor the man who stood in front of him. Nothing mattered; Spock did not matter. So he positioned himself in front of the bathroom mirror and scarely moved; Spock and Jim had been in this attitude for five minutes and twenty three seconds, twenty four seconds, twenty five...

Eventually Spock stopped scrubbing at the raw skin on his fingers and palms, throwing the now-green towel into the trash bin for collection. Spock looked at the cloth with a disdain he usually reserved for himself in times of weakness, then immediately decided that this was the lowest he had ever been. He took a deep breath and turned his head towards the door, tenderly touching the sorest spots on his palms. Spock promised himself to bandage his hands and forget this whole ordeal immediately, for the man who made himself bleed was gone - in his place was a hero. A warrior. And this new man would be alright. 

He walked into the bedroom to find Jim in the same position, although his eyes were now swollen and red. Jim almost imperceptibly frowned at Spock's hands, but immediately corrected himself by giving a humorless smile. He pushed off the door and opened his arms, beckoning Spock to come closer. Jim knew that physical contact was significant to Vulcans, but he also knew that Spock was half human - he was trying to lend himself to the humanity within. It wasn't long before Spock acquiesced and allowed Jim to envelop him in a hug. Soon after, Spock allowed himself to cry. And he cried for a long, long time.

His tears were rooted in many problems. On top of the loss of his planet, his beloved mother's last words, and the severed bonds that roared violently in his head, Spock cried because of Jim's touch; because of his human nature, his empathy, and his ability to mend Spock's ache before it had even truly begun. It was in that moment that he realized how much he needed his captain - how much he wanted Jim. He regretted his previous resentment towards the man; there was no room for anger at anyone but Nero anymore. Spock dug his face deeper into Jim's shoulder to try and quell the mix of anger and depression within him.

Jim's voice was a steady murmur that blended into Spock's hair as they pulled each other closer. "I'm sorry, Spock. I'm so sorry." These sentiments had become a chant; a motivation to get up and continue living - to beat Nero. To win. His captain would never apologize for something that he did not do again.

Jim could not be nearly as sorry as Nero was going to be, but for now they stayed perfectly entwined; they remained so close that no light could pass between them. What happened later could not compare to this instant - they were broken, they were angry, but they were together. And in that alone, they were unbeatable.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly writing practice as I gear up to post my first multi-chapter fic, hence it is so small! I did put effort into this though, so I hope you enjoyed regardless :)


End file.
